Archive for October, 2010

Bow and arrow

Posted in <3, Save Dollhouse, Saving Dollhouse with tags , , , on October 29, 2010 by toresimonsen

I wrote the scripts for Eliza Dushku. I love her and they were meant as a gift to her. I asked her to marry me. She did not say no, but she did not say yes.

The attempt to save Dollhouse, for Eliza Dushku, failed.

I tried every method I knew or could think of to try to save Dollhouse. I tried everything from handing out fliers and collecting signature petitions to internet organizing. I tried to get help from a lot of people. Some people were willing to help save Dollhouse, while others were very reluctant.

Room 202 Meeting Room

The effort to express my love required enormous sacrifices. Losing my car was only the beginning. I lost many friends and even ended relationships with family members. I found myself railroaded in mental health facilities and without support from allies. Love is madness. This simple fact was understood and accepted thousands of years ago. Even in the Illiad, Homer wrote, “O immortal madness, why do you have this craving to seduce me?” Today, this is lost on us.

I became homeless. In some respects, this was a good thing. I have a better sense of who is my friend and who will be there when I need them. I also have a better sense of my capabilities.

Many people did support me. Some of these people, I have been able to thank. Others, I have not been able to thank, in part because they have supported me in ways I do not know. Do not think I do not appreciate that.

I was disappointed by the recent judicial decision in the legal challenge I brought. It is not the first time a judicial decision has not gone my way. However, it left me unable to justify the continued investment in my bar membership. In other years, I found a way to justify continuing to pay my dues, despite the lack of financial return. I no longer feel that such an investment is justified.

In any event, I did what I could do.

This is not the first time I have failed in a campaign.

This is not the first time my legal opinions have been ignored.

Still, I cannot help but feel the arrow of every regret. An effort like this recalls every failure and shortcoming of one’s entire life. I found myself haunted by the ghost of every mistake I ever made. Nevertheless, I pressed on.

I tested the limits of freedom and love and discovered there was not enough of either of them.

There remains the question of what to do next. For me, at this point, love is simply out of the question. Love asks, “What are you willing to give?” I gave everything, so I have nothing left to give. There are so many beautiful and intelligent women worth appreciating, but none that I can love. Consolation, but not love. I find myself exhausted. November is coming.

I will also take a break from blogging. I find the experience invites too many negative elements into it. (I know, dear Krishna, that where there’s fire there’s smoke, but I need to breathe.)

I find myself without inspiration and simply continue to do things in a rather joyless manner. My scripts sit behind glass.


Posted in <3 on October 24, 2010 by toresimonsen

I was looking for a photograph which would express how I felt. I looked through a series of older photographs I had taken. I was hoping for one which expressed some degree of love and I found a photograph which I thought did just that. A star and a heart.

The picture was actually a part of a bigger picture. I cropped it and edited it slightly. You can notice that in the upper right hand corner, the pavement now repeats. I eliminated a stray chalk line fragment and an orange piece of paper from the photograph.

Now, however, I find myself focusing on the cracking concrete that scars the heart. It is very subtle. How could I have not seen that while I was working on the photograph? Or did I and simply ignored it because it expressed on a deeper level what I felt. I have no answer. In any event, that was the photograph I chose.

Waiting for a reply!

Posted in <3 with tags , on October 23, 2010 by toresimonsen

Proposal here.

Steel (Women of)

Posted in Dollhouse and Mental Health Issues with tags , , , , , on October 22, 2010 by toresimonsen

I want to talk briefly about two people that are in the news.

First, I want to talk about Lindsay Lohan. It would be hard for me not to admire her.

She is currently engaged in a battle with the legal system that highlights the failures of current policy towards drug use and treatment strategies.

Long forgotten in America is the holding of California v. Robinson , 370 U.S. 660 (1962), which held that the creation of status offenses, such as addiction, are unconstitutional. It viewed drug addiction as an illness and felt it would be cruel and unusual punishment to punish someone with an illness.

It is very hard to overcome addictions. Coercive models create what Anthony Burgess would call a clockwork morality.

It is not clear that coercive environments are successful. In many cases, defendants, frightened by the thought of prolonged incarceration, waive their rights to trial in order to enter treatment programs that they will probably fail.

A person suffering from addiction will have setbacks. It would be idiocy to punish them for failing, when a certain amount of failure is expected in that environment.

I hope people find a way on their own terms to overcome these problems with the support of friends and family.

The state had no duty to treat Lindsay Lohan or anyone else. However, having undertaken the duty, it does not seem it is necessarily Lohan’s fault if they failed to treat her effectively.

I appreciate Lohan’s activism on the matter and I hope scarce resources are not wasted on her incarceration.

The other person I want to highlight is Marisol Valles Garcia. She is the twenty year-old who recently became a police chief in Mexico. The Mexican drug war has cost roughly 28,000 people their lives.

Owing to the violence of the cartels, only Marisol was courageous enough to become the new police chief.

Although she is confident that she can make a difference, I feel the policies in place are fundamentally misguided and place her life at unnecessary risk. I can only hope she does not become a victim.

I appreciate her activism and hope for her safety.

Both Marisol and Lindsay have found themselves trapped in a long standing war which has failed to satisfy anyone involved. They have earned my admiration for taking risks. Their duty is not to become victims.

Society’s duty is to change. A commitment to change the policies will require an honest assessment of ourselves. The current prohibitions fail to achieve real results and it costs lives.

In any other situation where failure resulted in widespread death, it would be considered a scandal. Unfortunately, we call it the status quo.

Neuromancer’s Dedication.

Posted in <3 with tags , , on October 21, 2010 by toresimonsen

Neuromancer is a truly great book by William Gibson.

Catching up with Tore Loves Eliza

Posted in Uncategorized on October 21, 2010 by toresimonsen

I often repost summaries of the top stories on my blog to allow people to catch up with what has been going on.

Rather than do that, I will instead link to some of my other accounts.

I have a somewhat outdated website. (I maintain the blog more.)

You can check out my channel on youtube.

You check me out on Tumblr.

You can catch up on some older stories on Reddit.

Similar stories are also on Digg.

You can follow me on Twitter, but I no longer use Twitter much because of the account closings and suspensions. (This has hurt the efforts of the twitition.)

I am also on Facebook (as well as several other services).

If you are a gamer, you can watch my Xfire videos.

Please sign the e-petition.

Save Dollhouse by signing the TNT petition online to save Dollhouse.

Please send emails.

Save Dollhouse by sending TNT EMAILS to save Dollhouse.

Please sign the Twitition.

The twitition to save Dollhouse is here!

PLEASE!!!! Let other people know about the efforts to save the show.

Penthouse founder dies of cancer.

Posted in Dollhouse and cancer with tags , , on October 21, 2010 by toresimonsen

Sad to hear that Bob Guccione died of cancer. I used to read Penthouse- for the articles.