This is my first post on this blog which explains what this blog is all about.
I took a trip to Hollywood, California with the intention of delivering some scripts to Eliza Dushku at a charity event. When I arrived at the charity event, I was told it was canceled. Here are two of the four unofficial dollhouse scripts I wrote. The rest are currently undelivered.
Here is the LINK TO MY WEBSITE!!!!
http://1541.freehostia.com/Eliza/PaperRing.html
I love Eliza Dushku and I want to marry her.
Please take the time to support the efforts to save Dollhouse.
Please help save Dollhouse.
Please sign the e-petition.
Save Dollhouse by signing the TNT petition online to save Dollhouse.
Please send emails.
Save Dollhouse by sending TNT EMAILS to save Dollhouse.
Please sign the Twitition.
The twitition to save Dollhouse is here!
PLEASE!!!! Let other people know about the efforts to save the show.
I want to marry the real Eliza Dushku not your avatar. I would love to see the real Eliza Dushku now.
Update: Joss Whedon physically autographed my DVD of Dollhouse and the copy of the fourth script which I plan to give to Eliza Dushku and I asked him for help marrying Eliza Dushku. I am still trying to give all four scripts to Eliza Dushku as a ring. His brother Jed is also releasing his first movie Last Stop.
A small video montage I threw together a long time ago, which is still on the main website I set up. The music is by Einstein and is downloadable on Stone Oakvalley’s Sid collection.
The rest of my videos can be viewed on my youtube channel.
Regular readers know, I have been running a blog to save Dollhouse for Eliza Dushku, who I love.
I also spent several months homeless in Minneapolis.
In an attempt to save Dollhouse, I often handed out fliers to people I came into contact with. I also took photographs of a variety of events that I participated in.
I was confronted by a staff/volunteer at Branch 2 of Catholic charities who prevented me from distributing my fliers to save a television show. In short, I tried to take the staff/volunteers picture. I was told that I could not take photographs inside the shelter. The next day at Branch 3 of Catholic Charities, I tried to take photographs of people playing Madden 2010 on a Playstation 3 for a second time at Branch 3 and was again told no.
As a result of these denials, I sought a legal order to enjoin them from preventing me from conducting outreach to save Dollhouse and allowing me to continue to take pictures. I am also concerned about the taking of pictures of homeless people while they sleep.
The injunction evolved into a full blown lawsuit, which was eventually dismissed.
Readers may recall I stated:
“I am asserting that Catholic Charities invades privacy by video taping everything at the shelter. I also assert there is a first amendment right to engage in solicitation and free speech as a homeless resident at Hennepin County secure area. The fact that it is a charity and not the state should not make a huge difference. I maintain that fundamental rights cannot be outsourced by transferring the administration of programs to charitable organizations. Allowing charities to eviscerate the first amendment would effectively create a “charitable” curtain, isolating members of the homeless community and impairing their ability to communicate with the outside world. Disallowing photographs/media in this environment would also fundamentally impair legitimate news gathering activities.”
The judge ruled for Catholic Charities on all counts.
You can read the decision here.
This was my shelter lock.
You may also want to listen to Mayor RT Rybak.
I focus on the part where Mayor RT Rybak claims, “What we did with that was we coordinated all these services together and put a phenomenal person named Cathy Ten Broeke in charge of all that laid out a multi-point program that one by one by one we’ve been executing.”
Freedom of the press- analysis?
FYI, Homeless people, like myself, could store our things in lockers during the day if we were paid guests of the pay for stay section.
Here’s a look inside the “private” Branch 3. This photo shows the empty inside, but anyone standing on the sidewalk would be able to see the people inside.
Here is a photograph of people standing on the street, visible to all the passing traffic, while waiting to get into Branch 3. People are often waiting outside. I have used a paint program to hide their faces.
Here is an example of what happened to one of my signs, prior to the initiation of the lawsuit.
Some readers will recall that I asked Minnesota Rep. Margaret Anderson Kelliher (DFL) whether homeless people should be videotaped while they sleep in homeless shelters. My efforts were featured in a City Pages article. You can watch the video to see her response which is carefully crafted but open minded.
I also attended the Minnesota House committee meeting at Health Care and Human Services Finance Division. I took the opportunity to testify. I focused on the deprivations of fundamental rights and censorship threats to democracy.
You can watch my testimony here.
More background on the legal case can be found here.
You can also watch my hastily thrown together proposal for Eliza Dushku.
I have submitted my resignation before the Minnesota bar. You can read my submission here.
It will take four to six weeks before the matter is resolved.
Update: I received a letter from the Office of Professional Responsibility saying they have no objection to my resignation. You can read the letter here.
Final Update: My petition to resign was accepted. The Supreme Court of Minnesota issued an order effectuating my resignation as of October 5, 2011. You can see the order here.
As some know, I made a video game based upon my experiences.
I am shifting gears to some real space distribution of my video game, Tore Loves Eliza.
Internet distribution appears to have its limitations. While youtube is great for storing a trailer for the game, many forums are not open to posts which link to third party sites. Many sites that are open are so flooded with information that your post is likely to be overlooked. I will not reiterate the many problems I have had on sites like Craigslist, Twitter, MySpace, and so many others.
Instead, I am moving forward with trying to get the information in the game out by trying to connect with people in real space. Of course, real space distribution costs more in materials. Still, I am hoping that I can make my distribution of the program affordable and effective.
As part of the campaign, I have created a new promotional poster for Tore Loves Eliza.
I am also creating some new cover art for the distribution of the DVDs.
Here is what the game looks like in a jewel case now:
It looks a lot more professional. Using simple Avery style 6180 labels, I simply print a small title for each disc. Office Max is charging me about 68 cents per page of color printing. Each poster takes a page, but the images for the DVD can be printed two per page.
As for distributions, I am simply looking for just about anywhere I can find to promote the game. Here is an example of creative distribution. A simple tack on a public message board with some discs tacked along in sandwich bags and DVD sleeves.
I am also trying to give a copy to the library so they will add it to their collection.
I also postered a coffee shop and will continue to look for places I can promote the game.
In any event, as I explained in readme file for the game, people are free to distribute the game. Feel free to download, burn the DVD, throw it in a jewel case with the aforementioned cover art or just print the afformentioned poster and hang it on a public message board- like at a coffee shop.
Owing to political paralysis, the Minnesota state government shutdown. As a consequence, Judge Gearin and Special Master Blatz are reviewing funding requests for core government services.
One of those services is homelessness. Participating in the Minnesota Coalition of Homelessness, one of the petitioners is Catholic Charities.
Not surprisingly, with money on the table threatened by the shutdown, nonprofit groups suddenly claim their services are “core government services”.
As regular readers of my blog know, Catholic Charities denied it was a state actor and claimed it was instead a private actor when I filed a lawsuit against them.
In my legal filings I argued that “The shelter system operated by Catholic Charities works hand in glove with the state. ”
Judge Bruce Peterson, in his order of October 14, 2010, found that Catholic Charities was not a state actor. Judge Peterson apparently gave no weight to Minneapolis Mayor RT Rybak’s statement that, “What we did with that was we coordinated all these services together and put a phenomenal person named Cathy Ten Broeke in charge of all that laid out a multi-point program that one by one by one we’ve been executing.”
Yet in the most recent funding actions before Judge Gearin, the Uptake’s live testimony of the Minnesota Coalition for the Homeless stated unequivocally that, “Providing services that keep Minnesotans sheltered or in housing is a core function of the state.”
Many of these services are provided by groups and organizations like Catholic Charities. In opposition to the impact of the shutdown, Catholic Charities filings are featured prominently on the page of the Minnesota Coalition of the Homeless web page.
Apparently, these groups are private actors when it comes to assertions of freedom, but state actors when it comes to assertions of funding. The system begins to resemble a system designed more to maintain homelessness funding than address the problem of homelessness. Assigning accountability is complicated by the myriad of entities involved. No entity wants to claim to be in charge.
Another key claim I raised in my lawsuit, which was dismissed summarily by Judge Peterson, was the claim that Catholic Charities claims of providing dignity to its clients were fraudulent. The claim that these services are providing dignity was also made by the Minnesota Coalition of Homelessness during the oral arguments to Judge Gearin.
Nevertheless, Judge Peterson and Catholic Charities combated my fraud claim by relying on Bernstein v. Extendicare Services, 607 F.Supp. 2D 1027, (2009), where the court found these statements constituted mere “puffery” and were therefore non-actionable.
In my experiences, I personally found some shelters so bad that at times I chose to sleep outside. If you look at the handout provided to Judge Gearin by the MCH, you will note that they explain that the state grants about $688,000 to provide shelter to approximately 3,980 people. I’ll let you do the math.
Nevertheless, we see once again that “dignity” is a word these groups use freely when their funding is threatened- and why not? After all, it is legally protected puffery.
I find the sudden decision of Catholic Charities to proclaim itself a core government service to be at complete odds with their claims of being a private actor in my case. I find the recent decision by Judge Gearin that Catholic Charities is a core government service is irreconcilable with the decision of Judge Peterson’s decision that they are not a state actor.
A few additional observations are worth making.
Notably absent from the recent core-government functions hearings before Judge Gearin were two groups. First, Catholic Charities did not make a sworn oral argument before the judge. I suppose the affidavit of Tracy Berglund in my case would prove too problematic for Catholic Charities.
The second group was, in fact, the homeless themselves. In watching the testimony of the homeless coalition at Uptake, I noticed that blind people who were to testify on behalf of cuts to their services showed up. Nevertheless, despite the claim that many thousands of homeless would be impacted, the oral arguments did not present the live testimony of a single homeless person.
To me, the fact that they could not produce a single stooge to mutter vaguely about the value of the services, is a statement in itself. This suggests that the homeless themselves are aware they are nothing but human shields used in a game to fund nonprofits rather than real beneficiaries of services.
If this statement seems harsh, consider the following statement from TCDailyplanet:
“Shelters are horrible places,” Catholic Charities director of communications Rebecca Lentz said. “We run shelters because the alternative is having people die on the streets.”
In choosing between staying at a shelter like Safebay or sleeping in a park in fair weather, the park has the upper hand. It’s a choice I’ve made. Maintaining the shelter system with funding may make it much more difficult for the homeless to make that choice. I refer here to the (subsequently vacated) Jones v. City of Los Angeles case.
The city will largely maintain its “benevolent” practice of not pursuing the prosecution of homeless- in order to save money. Most homeless live with with random searches and seizures and adhere to a regimented lifestyle without the benefit of real rights.
The cynical use of charities creates a charitable veil that covers the harsh and ugly truth. Hiding behind socially acceptable symbols, like the cross, groups are able to perpetuate far more harm than they would if they had to openly don the mask of the state or a corporation. The symbol allows for the unquestioning social acceptance that the groups are well meaning- even if they are not. If a corporation, like Haliburton, tried to run a homeless operation the same way Salvation Army ran Safebay, there would be no tolerance for it. Yet these same conditions are tolerated when run by a nonprofit.
It should also be noted that the coalition’s characterization of the homeless as chemically dependent and mental ill probably stems from the fact that one can secure better living conditions by claiming to have these problems. (I will not digress into a side discussion of mental health funding incentives to warehouse people without need or benefit, but I will refer you to the U.S. Rep. Tim Walz video.)
Again, if it seems harsh, consider the following from Minnpost:
“We’re not sheltering mentally ill people, we’re creating them. All of their anxieties, any of those conditions of mental health deteriorate under poor conditions,” said Nilsson, a soft-spoken woman.
My own recent experiences in homelessness stemmed from the simple wish to express my love for Eliza Dushku which was construed as a mental illness. Did Dante not write for Beatrice?
Over the course of the last few YEARS, I have lost many things including a car as well as my freedoms. Many people, who were former friends and family, have become enemies.
My efforts have been peaceful and democratic in nature. Camus reminds me that “Violence is never justified.”
My attempts at raising serious interests with wholly grassroots democratic methods has been a failure. My blog has been the subject of constant ridicule. My posts to various social networking sites have been censored or overlooked by the so-called “slacktivists”. My press releases have been ignored. My testimony before the Minnesota legislature appears to have been ignored. My lawsuit against Catholic Charities has been summarily dismissed. My suggestions to provide homeless individuals, rather than organizations, with the direct relief of Chromebooks, has gone nowhere. Nevertheless, the systemic subversion of democracy I experienced, constitutes a clear and present danger to everyone’s freedom.
For all my efforts, the only thing I really have to show for it, is the mutilated corpse of democracy and the video game I made about my experiences.
I watch now with the interest of an exile at the events unfolding in Minnesota. I see a shutdown in which access to public restrooms is restricted, alcohol is becoming scarce, state parks are closed, individual economic opportunities are being undermined by policies or arbitrary and capricious judicial holdings- and it lightly mirrors the experience of homelessness.
It is quite possible that social control policies are tested on the poor before being implemented on the wider population in softer versions. In any event, many people chose to ignore my experiences in homelessness which I reported on my blog. As the events continue to unfold in Minnesota, I sometimes wonder what these people will do now.
From exile, however, I do not wonder what I will do. I will live like my namesake, somewhat unpredictably, with flashes of brilliance, and always expressing my love for Eliza Dushku.
I wrote the scripts for Eliza Dushku. I love her and they were meant as a gift to her. I asked her to marry me. She did not say no, but she did not say yes.
The attempt to save Dollhouse, for Eliza Dushku, failed.
I tried every method I knew or could think of to try to save Dollhouse. I tried everything from handing out fliers and collecting signature petitions to internet organizing. I tried to get help from a lot of people. Some people were willing to help save Dollhouse, while others were very reluctant.
Room 202 Meeting Room
The effort to express my love required enormous sacrifices. Losing my car was only the beginning. I lost many friends and even ended relationships with family members. I found myself railroaded in mental health facilities and without support from allies. Love is madness. This simple fact was understood and accepted thousands of years ago. Even in the Illiad, Homer wrote, “O immortal madness, why do you have this craving to seduce me?” Today, this is lost on us.
I became homeless. In some respects, this was a good thing. I have a better sense of who is my friend and who will be there when I need them. I also have a better sense of my capabilities.
Many people did support me. Some of these people, I have been able to thank. Others, I have not been able to thank, in part because they have supported me in ways I do not know. Do not think I do not appreciate that.
I was disappointed by the recent judicial decision in the legal challenge I brought. It is not the first time a judicial decision has not gone my way. However, it left me unable to justify the continued investment in my bar membership. In other years, I found a way to justify continuing to pay my dues, despite the lack of financial return. I no longer feel that such an investment is justified.
In any event, I did what I could do.
This is not the first time I have failed in a campaign.
This is not the first time my legal opinions have been ignored.
Still, I cannot help but feel the arrow of every regret. An effort like this recalls every failure and shortcoming of one’s entire life. I found myself haunted by the ghost of every mistake I ever made. Nevertheless, I pressed on.
I tested the limits of freedom and love and discovered there was not enough of either of them.
There remains the question of what to do next. For me, at this point, love is simply out of the question. Love asks, “What are you willing to give?” I gave everything, so I have nothing left to give. There are so many beautiful and intelligent women worth appreciating, but none that I can love. Consolation, but not love. I find myself exhausted. November is coming.
I will also take a break from blogging. I find the experience invites too many negative elements into it. (I know, dear Krishna, that where there’s fire there’s smoke, but I need to breathe.)
I find myself without inspiration and simply continue to do things in a rather joyless manner. My scripts sit behind glass.
I was looking for a photograph which would express how I felt. I looked through a series of older photographs I had taken. I was hoping for one which expressed some degree of love and I found a photograph which I thought did just that. A star and a heart.
The picture was actually a part of a bigger picture. I cropped it and edited it slightly. You can notice that in the upper right hand corner, the pavement now repeats. I eliminated a stray chalk line fragment and an orange piece of paper from the photograph.
Now, however, I find myself focusing on the cracking concrete that scars the heart. It is very subtle. How could I have not seen that while I was working on the photograph? Or did I and simply ignored it because it expressed on a deeper level what I felt. I have no answer. In any event, that was the photograph I chose.
I want to talk briefly about two people that are in the news.
First, I want to talk about Lindsay Lohan. It would be hard for me not to admire her.
She is currently engaged in a battle with the legal system that highlights the failures of current policy towards drug use and treatment strategies.
Long forgotten in America is the holding of California v. Robinson , 370 U.S. 660 (1962), which held that the creation of status offenses, such as addiction, are unconstitutional. It viewed drug addiction as an illness and felt it would be cruel and unusual punishment to punish someone with an illness.
It is very hard to overcome addictions. Coercive models create what Anthony Burgess would call a clockwork morality.
It is not clear that coercive environments are successful. In many cases, defendants, frightened by the thought of prolonged incarceration, waive their rights to trial in order to enter treatment programs that they will probably fail.
A person suffering from addiction will have setbacks. It would be idiocy to punish them for failing, when a certain amount of failure is expected in that environment.
I hope people find a way on their own terms to overcome these problems with the support of friends and family.
The state had no duty to treat Lindsay Lohan or anyone else. However, having undertaken the duty, it does not seem it is necessarily Lohan’s fault if they failed to treat her effectively.
I appreciate Lohan’s activism on the matter and I hope scarce resources are not wasted on her incarceration.
The other person I want to highlight is Marisol Valles Garcia. She is the twenty year-old who recently became a police chief in Mexico. The Mexican drug war has cost roughly 28,000 people their lives.
Owing to the violence of the cartels, only Marisol was courageous enough to become the new police chief.
Although she is confident that she can make a difference, I feel the policies in place are fundamentally misguided and place her life at unnecessary risk. I can only hope she does not become a victim.
I appreciate her activism and hope for her safety.
Both Marisol and Lindsay have found themselves trapped in a long standing war which has failed to satisfy anyone involved. They have earned my admiration for taking risks. Their duty is not to become victims.
Society’s duty is to change. A commitment to change the policies will require an honest assessment of ourselves. The current prohibitions fail to achieve real results and it costs lives.
In any other situation where failure resulted in widespread death, it would be considered a scandal. Unfortunately, we call it the status quo.
Neuromancer is a truly great book by William Gibson.
I often repost summaries of the top stories on my blog to allow people to catch up with what has been going on.
Rather than do that, I will instead link to some of my other accounts.
I have a somewhat outdated website. (I maintain the blog more.)
You can check out my channel on youtube.
You check me out on Tumblr.
You can catch up on some older stories on Reddit.
Similar stories are also on Digg.
You can follow me on Twitter, but I no longer use Twitter much because of the account closings and suspensions. (This has hurt the efforts of the twitition.)
I am also on Facebook (as well as several other services).
If you are a gamer, you can watch my Xfire videos.
Please sign the e-petition.
Save Dollhouse by signing the TNT petition online to save Dollhouse.
Please send emails.
Save Dollhouse by sending TNT EMAILS to save Dollhouse.
Please sign the Twitition.
The twitition to save Dollhouse is here!
PLEASE!!!! Let other people know about the efforts to save the show.
Sad to hear that Bob Guccione died of cancer. I used to read Penthouse- for the articles.
